22-3-21
Playing Call of Duty.
Mum came in with a box.
Opened box - dog had 3 legs - kicked it away.
Dog playing with a ball.
Dog are cute.H
I start to like him.
Call to mum - going to play outside.
Give the dog a name.
Last week I was playing Call of Duty at my house. I was playing with my friends and it was a sunny day. Then mum came in and gave me a present
Last week I was playing Call of Duty. The screen was bright. Then mum came in and said, it's a nice day outside why don't you go outside and play.
Then she said open this really big present that i thought was a call of duty figurine but it wasn't. I gave you. So I opened it and a small dog came out and pounced at me. I liked the dog then I realized it had three legs. I felt disgusted and angry that mum gave me a dog with three legs. So I put it down and kept playing.
Then the dog was chasing and tripping over to get the small ball
I was trying to ignore it but the small dog was too cute. And then I started feeling joyful but I tried to look back at the game but I kept looking. and started to the dog and put the ball next to me. At first I did not know if i wanted to go outside eventually i went out. I went outside with the dog and played ball with it. The End

A nice piece of writing. Very well done. You have all the idras in order and have made it interesting. Please take out the plan at the start. Ka Pai!
ReplyDelete